Spiritual Findings

A few weeks ago I was dealing with one of those days when everything seemed to go in the opposite direction to what I had planned. Meetings cancelled, emails multiplying, everyone looked like was conspiring to mess with me. My reaction? Grit my teeth, push back, try to force everything back onto the tracks I had imagined. It’s an attitude I know well: opposing what happens, as if willpower alone could change the flow of events.

This week the tiredness caught up with me. It didn’t knock. It just walked in, sat down at my desk and made itself comfortable. For weeks I had been running on momentum: back-to-back calls, decisions, deadlines, and that quiet, flattering voice telling me I was invincible, that I could keep going like this indefinitely, that rest was for other people. Then one evening I closed the laptop and realized I was exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with sleep.

Across various spiritual traditions, a teaching recurs that may initially seem vague: do not disperse your energy. But what does this mean practically? I believe it refers to our tendency to complicate our lives unnecessarily. We dedicate ourselves to practices, habits, relationships, and worries that drain us, leaving us empty and without the strength needed for what truly matters. I think about the amount of energy we waste each day in emotional reactions to situations we cannot control.