"If your entire happiness depends on what someone else does, I think you have a problem," writes Richard Bach in his wonderful "Jonathan Livingston Seagull".

If we stop to reflect on what our happiness depends on, we'd likely discover that it's not entirely up to us. True, we now know that we play a very important role in the game of joy; however, we reach a point where we feel limited by the actions and relationships of those around us (spouse, friends, colleagues, children...) waiting for something external to intervene and change our mood.

Sound familiar? After all, we depend on others from the very first minute of existence: as infants, we completely depend on our parents, and even as we grow, we continue to depend on those around us (or those we wish were). It's natural to think we depend on something else: on the earth for food, on the sun for energy, on the universe for the existence we're living. However, when we make the mistake of handing over the keys to our happiness to others, we end up depending on them to feel good, gratified, and at peace. We're happy only if they are, or worse, we're only happy if others show interest in us: when we feel loved, considered, and appreciated.

It's a common mistake, but the good news is that we can remedy it starting right now! How? By taking back the keys we've carelessly handed over, beginning to believe in ourselves: strengthening our self-esteem!

[Illustration generated by OpenAI's DALL-E]